Billy Nichols, keyboards

This is the most fun I've ever had while my clothes were still on.

Speaking of which, these are the only clothes I own, even then I got these from the scrap heap at the Washington County Jail. That shyster John took everything else I owned for legal costs, including the clothes on my back after he represented me and I went to jail for spitting on the sidewalk. OK, so I dated the town mayor's minor daughter, but she had fake ID (it said she was 82 or something), and I was acquitted. Nothing happened. Alright.