John Elliott, drums

I've had other jobs. Once I worked in a orange juice factory, but got canned because I couldn't concentrate. Now I'm an attorney, but get tired of getting crooks out of jail and breaking up families, so rock and roll is a great catharsis. Beating drums and keeping rhythm and time has a lot in common with...... well you know......trucking. Keep the engine purring and the tank full till you cross the finish line. Then relax..... and do it again.

During Billy's trial, we showed he was with an 82 year old woman who couldn't control her farts. This made an impression on witnesses that placed Billy far from the Mayor's daughter on the date in question. We brought Dan, our resident expert, to show wind patters (and some training for the 82 year old). But Billy was so spitting mad a the time of his arrest, it missed the cop but landed on the sidewalk. After he was acquitted, the judge put him in the cooler for destruction of public property.